My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
