the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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