im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
