we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize