i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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