I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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