Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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