I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
