spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
