I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
