I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
