what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
