Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
