i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Lo siento on account of my penis...
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
