Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
