Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
