The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
