So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
