what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
