I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
A bitchslap is in order.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
