I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I feel like abortions should bother me more
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
