put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
it was like eating out sand paper
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
