the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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