Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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