I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
