You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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