She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
