you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
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