My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
