i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
