If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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