Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
