Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
