Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
