I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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