so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
