OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Randomize
