Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
My Higher Power is John Stamos
my vag is so smooth its legendary
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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