I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
