plz talk dirty to me
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Quick, to the slutcave!
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
