I faked an abortion last night.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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