Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
