He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
