Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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