I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
