And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
