Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
