Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
