Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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