Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
